All I Want For Christmas…

And so we reach day fifty-five.  When this started, back on October 22nd, I had no idea how long it would or wouldn’t last.  As it stands right now, I still don’t know.  All decisions as to whether or not I get to orgasm are now, and have been for about two weeks, firmly in NW’s hands.

The decision has always been NW’s.  It is just that we agreed that I would remain denied until three goals, that I had come up with, were met.  Once those goals were met, it was completely up to her.  As fate would have it, one of those goals has been abandoned because I am better served by doing so and pursuing a different path.  I will eventually get to it.  Other things have taken precedence, however.

A second goal will be achieved due to the publishing of this post.  This goal was rather pointless…to reach 50,000 hits on the blog.  It was just one more condition to put on my ability to have an orgasm.  When I wake up tomorrow morning, marking the completion of week eight of being denied, that goal will have been met.

This leaves one final goal.  Not a goal that the completion of which guarantees an immediate orgasm.  A goal that means NW is clear to give me an orgasm, if she so chooses.  It simply means that the goals have been met and the agreement to keep me denied at least until will have been met.

Things are becoming more difficult, however.  For the first six and a half weeks, I really had no problem with being denied.  Much to my surprise, I had been very much able to keep my want and frustration well in check.  The past week and a half, however, things have not been so easy.  I have been mindlessly horny.  Pretty much if it is humanoid, has a pulse and produces more estrogen than testosterone, it is a potential target for my lust.

Compounding this, it is far too easy for NW to get me edged and far too difficult for me to fall back from it.  Once I am edged, she can barely doing anything to/with my cock or I will go careening over the edge.  I am very much fully loaded and my body is primed to erupt.  There have been a couple of nights that just curling up behind NW has caused a…uh…vibration, for lack of a better word, to rise in my cock and nearly take me over the edge…with no actual external stimulation.

In any case, I am more than ready to have NW take me over the edge.  She seems in no way interested, though.  In fact, despite my telling her that the last goal might not be tenable (and it may not be), she says that she isn’t going to let me give up on it.  So, for the time being, at least, this is going to continue.

As a way to combat the growing want of orgasm, we have turned back to CBT.  It is not the same, obviously, but prolonged CBT does provide stimulation and has the effect, eventually, of exhausting me.  That exhaustion gives a sense of satiation…again, not the same.  So far, though, it has been enough to keep me going.

All that being said, I know what I won’t be getting for Christmas…

“Where Are They Now?”

…seemed like a good title.  After all, like the television program, we are checking in on lost personalities.  In our case, we are doing fine.  Life has been hectic, as it so often is with kids, work, holidays, family visits, Summer doings, etc…  Taking breaks like this, though, is pretty common for NW and me.  It doesn’t mean that we aren’t having sex, even fetish-y.  It just means that we were not concentrated on one thing that binds it all together, pun, pun.

For now, though, let me give just a quick update.  Today is day eighteen of my denial.  There have, obviously, been no full orgasms and, for once, no ruined orgasms.  That is in part because we have moved along with a different approach.

As with all of our denial play, it started with me.  It starts with me because, if I am not in the right frame of mind for it, it isn’t going to work.  And having started with me, I get to establish the first set of guidelines.  The first guideline involves duration.  Ultimately, NW will get to decide when my next orgasm is, full and/or ruined.  When I started this stint, however, I a) started it without NW’s knowledge and b) had a minimum duration decided upon, even though it was not actually set.  I did not inform NW that this was starting because I needed to go through a few days to make sure that I was up to the task.  Sometimes I want to do it, but life conspires to make it not psychologically fun.  Better to test the waters and then let her know that the game is on and she is in control…and she is always ready.

The minimum duration is a little different.  There are a couple of fitness goals that I have set for myself.  No, they do not involve weight loss (although they probably should).  I set my minimum duration at achieving those goals.  So, until I reach them…no orgasm!  NW knows this and has agreed to it.  Once those goals are achieved, it all becomes her decision.  The only downside is that these goals are rather lofty.  They might take some time.  Hopefully I am up to the task.

The second, and really only other, guideline is how we proceed with our play.  For the first two weeks I made sure to keep a very strict hold on how and how much stimulation NW gave me.  This was not done to control NW, but to make sure we did not have an accidental ruined and to set the pace.  The first weekend, when I was four and five days in, I did not let NW touch me at all.  I serviced her, but she did nothing to my cock and balls.  The second weekend, days eleven and twelve, NW was allowed to service me, but only my balls.  She did lick and suck them, but it mainly consisted of cbt…squeezing, slapping, punching (not too hard), pulling, etc…  She has not played with me during the weeks, only on weekends.

This weekend, it has been much the same.  I serviced her last night and this morning.  She has devoted 98% of her attention to my balls.  The only stimulation to the shaft was a couple of tight squeezes and quick sucking of my precum from the tip.

This has really worked in helping us avoid unintentional ruined orgasms and helped keep the intensity level in check.  When we are full on, constant teasing, we tend to spend way too much time thinking about and involved in sex.  Even so, I have turned the reins over and NW is now free to do whatever she wants to me.  She still seems content to focus on my balls,however.  That is actually kind of cool.  It keeps intensity in check, lets us both play and I have found that I can reach orgasm just from having my balls smacked around. (No, I have not actually reached orgasm this go around.)   Yes, I have come from cbt in the past.  In almost every case, though, I have been stroked up and edged before we got to cbt.  These past two weekends, there has been no foreplay.  It goes straight from me pleasing her to her hurting my balls.  And she is edging me, time and again, by doing this.  I am really interested to see how this develops, if she continues to deny notable stimulation to my shaft.

Well, that is where we are right now.  Sorry there was nothing too tantalizing.  It is fun nonetheless.

Impulse Speed, Mr. GH…

Yeah, yeah…  For some reason, I have my geek on.  Not sure why all the space references, but that’s what’s coming through.  In any case, we are off into virgin territory.

A couple of things…

We had a rather tame day, yesterday, except the way I ended our one true “get together”.  NW and I carried on as usual.  She teased me up and I was quickly as hard as a rock.  She mounted me.  She had orgasms.  I did not.  It didn’t take long until she had to dismount me, lest I reach orgasm.  NW is getting a tad frustrated with this, as she really loves and is craving prolonged intercourse.

Afterwards, she edged me several times.  The edging is really intense, anymore.  This really wound me up and I vented it the first way that crossed my mind…caning!

I had NW stand next to the bed and bend over it.  I retrieved a “cane” from the closet.  This particular one is a heavy, plastic cane.  It is, in fact, the stick that comes from a large set of blinds.  I have no idea what it is called, but it is the piece that you twist to change the angle of the slats.  This one is pretty stout.

I started moderately whapping her ass.  It was obvious that it hurt like hell  So, I reached in and gave her pussy a manual assist to orgasm.  Then I started alternating…finger to orgasm, five good strikes, finger to orgasm, five good strikes.  Her ass striped quickly.  She was in immense pain from the cane.  Yet, she continued to orgasm, even as she, literally, tried to get away from it.  She tried to stand up.  She tried to roll away.  She tried to shield her ass.  I was having none of it and held her down…fingers to orgasm, five good strokes.

She took about twenty-five strokes before I stopped and gave comfort.  She confirmed that she hadn’t wanted the pain, but couldn’t stop coming.  Also, she confirmed that she was glad I had held her down and forced her to take it.  It is good to know one’s partner.

Later, in the kitchen, she pulled my cock out of my shorts and worked me to edge.  Again, last night, at bedtime, she stroked me to several hard edges, as I fingered her to orgasm, multiple times.  What I have noticed of late is that my edges are taking on a new edge, so to speak.  Once I am edged, it is as though I am pressurized…balls tight and drawn up, shaft straining, prostate aching.  There is also a continuing…uh…vibration, maybe.  It feels like a low, almost imperceptible rumble, that lingers.  Where NW, in the past, could edge me, pause for 15 seconds, and get back to it.  Now, she can wait a minute, or more, and I still almost orgasm as soon as she begins again.  It feels great!  It feels maddening!  But it can cause problems.  After all, it is hard to play with a cock, in denial, when it is constantly on the verge of orgasm.

Somewhat akin to this, NW made a statement, yesterday, that caught me off guard.  The first part of the statement was, “Assuming that you don’t have an orgasm this week,”.  She was not saying that she might want to give me an orgasm this week.  Oh no.  She was saying, “assuming you don’t require an orgasm, based on a physical or mental need, on your part”.  She fully intends for the denial to go on, unless I can’t handle it.

“Then I think we should try giving you a ruined orgasm one morning this weekend.  So that we can see if you can last longer, with intercourse, by that evening.”  Not only is she talking about keeping me denied of a full orgasm…and rather thoughtlessly, but she is talking about introducing ruined orgasms.  Not as a means to sate me, mind you, or to prolong the denial of full orgasm, but to allow for her greater pleasure.  How yummy is that?  Many of you OC/OD folks are used to this, I am sure.  I am not.

I am onboard.  I really want to see what effect ruined orgasms will have on my ability to continue on this journey.  Thirty-two days and counting…

Wait…You Neither?

Okay.  Now, we have hit a “numerical” month, as NW proclaims it.  Thirty-one days have come and gone.  If my math is correct, (which is no guarantee, given how late I was up) this is Day forty for Gregg.  Gregg is a reader who frequently comments on my posts.  Gregg, if you read this, let us know.

NW is still showing no interest in allowing me to orgasm.  Honestly, I am losing interest in wanting an orgasm.  I am sure that will come full circle.  It is an odd feeling nonetheless.  Anymore, I am mainly just craving stimulation.  Even that waxes and wanes, though.  The latter is likely just because things have been rather hectic.  An occupied mind is not as easily aroused/frustrated.

In fact, when NW and I got together last night, it became apparent that neither of us was overly in want.  We ended up in a sixty-nine position, but on our sides.  (Anyone know what that is called?)  I devoured her sweet pussy.  And, yes, it tasted mildly sweet.  She, finally, gave my cock some stimulation.  Of course, as is the case anymore, I was at edge in no time.  I was edged multiple times.  She had multiple orgasms.  Our youngest was at the door, melting.  It was quick, interrupted, but got the job done.

This morning…nothing.  I was up so late.  NW was out of bed forty-five minutes before I even woke up.  Fortunately, we still have the afternoon.

Last Night and This Afternoon

Going back to last night, which my earlier post skipped over…  NW and I settled in for a little play.  As NW was freshly out of the bath, she assumed a face down position on the bed.  As you likely guessed, I went straight for her ass.  Flicking, licking, poking, sucking, probing her to orgasm.  I love orally pleasing her ass.  I think the biggest reason is that she always carries a degree of apprehension about it.  She feels like she shouldn’t get so much pleasure out of it.  Her writhing, moaning and…involuntarily pushing her ass back into my face…betray her, though.  She had at least five orgasms from it.  She is such a naughty NW.  In fact, I made her tell me that she is a dirty slut.  She gets so uncomfortable talking dirty, it makes it fun to make her do it.

Away, once rolled over, I began fingering her pussy.  Adding to it, I began sucking her nipples.  Moments later, I was biting her nipple, with my bottom teeth running right across the center of it.  I bit hard enough that it was teetering on being too much pain.  For NW, that is saying something.  Once she had a few orgasms, I moved to the other nipple and repeated.

As always, I sucked them better, but this really added to it.  She mounted me and rode me to a couple of orgasms, as I played with her clothespinned nipples.  Unfortunately, I am still nearing edge too quickly and she had to dismount.  I continued the work, though.  I used my fingers to penetrate her…first her pussy, then her ass and, finally, both at the same time.  She flooded.

Turning her attention to me, she edged me a few times and we were done.

Then, this afternoon (we have already talked about this morning), I went to the bedroom for a nap.  NW followed me in and lay down beside me.  She was fully clothed and I was nude.  I hate sleeping in clothes.  We talked.  I played with her nipples and ran my hand over the crotch of her jeans.  She was definitely getting worked up  I told that she would have to wait for later, though.

She started playing with my balls, as I backed off on playing with her.  She avoided my cock, and it is still without any stimulation for the day.  She caressed them lightly, fondled them and just, generally, gave them some loving.  I began to worry that my cock was going to get some incidental stimulation, as she worked my balls  So, I rolled over, drew my legs up and had her pull my balls back.  So that she could get to my balls but my cock would be shielded between my legs.

NW took this to mean that I wanted some CBT.  I was not thinking that at all.  She, however, seemed aroused by the idea, because the next thing I know, she has a grip on them and is squeezing.  I was not looking for CBT.  I was not craving CBT.  But, in a rare moment of submissiveness, I had no intention of stopping her from doing what she wanted.  They were hers.  She squeezed the hell out of them, leaving me writhing and groaning.  She punched them, to light-moderate levels.  She was just trying to make me writhe and verbally show the pain.  She got what she wanted.

It wasn’t until she was through that I told her that I hadn’t been looking for, or wanting pain.  But that I endured it for her…because she wanted to give it.  This, of course, turned her on even more.  She asked to come.  I obliged.  I roughly ground the seam of her jeans into her clit and labia.  She went off a few times.  Then, in the midst of her orgasm, I grabbed her throat and choked her.  She flooded.  Three more times I choked her, as she came.  All three times, she shot into a new, higher orgasm.  Each time, flooding into her jeans.  The pants had to later be changed, due to the enormous wet spot.

Afterwards, she gave each ball an individual squeezing, prior to some light loving and letting me have my nap.  My precum was everywhere…on my cock, my leg, her leg, the top sheet, the bottom sheet.  And, yet, I was able to still express a nice little bit onto her fingers, for her to enjoy.

I can’t wait for tonight!

Made It!…Not So Quick…

Well, today marked thirty days!  Woohoo!  I finally reached a numerical month…or did I?  NW and I discussed this, this morning, right after I mauled her (so much fun).  She said that it wasn’t actually a numerical month.  When I asked why, she explained that the last time I came was on December 22nd.  Therefore, I need to go through tomorrow morning, the 22nd, to reach a numerical month.

Hogwash!  That is just word play.  I do see what she is saying, but I still think that what she described is a calendar month.  Not  a month on the calendar (January, February, etc…), mind you, but a calendar month in the sense of using dates instead of number of days.  Of course, it is really irrelevant, as she has already made clear that I will not be having an orgasm today.  Fine with me.  In fact, I already started it off on the right foot.

We played last night, but I will save that for another post.  This morning…  I awoke and curled up behind NW.  As Seems to be the case anymore, I immediately became erect.  My want had my mind in high gear.  I already knew how this morning would play out.

NW was awake…groggy, but awake.  I slid my arm under her head.  I reached around and grabbed her opposite arm, locking her upper body in place.  One leg hooked her top leg.  My other leg pinned her bottom leg to the bed.  (Having over twice the body mass and strength of your wife can be so handy.)  Flexing, I locked her into place, with her legs spread.  I began forcefully rubbing her clit.  I continued until my assaulting arm gave out.  She had numerous orgasms, all while unable to escape.

Once my arm gave out, I wrapped it around her, reversing my hold, and rolled her over me to the other side.  Legs locked, I began with the other hand.  I bit her traps (trapezius area) on both sides.  I bit hard.  She winced.  She came.  Several orgasms later, my arms burned from the fervent exertion that I had used.  Then I held her.  Held her close, as she heaved and burrowed into me.  This was the best part of it all.  Just the two of us, sex out of the way, cuddling and loving being close.

Later, she reached for my cock.  I told her not to.  I wanted this morning, the mark of thirty days, to be about her.  We left it at that.  NW, umpteen orgasms…me, denial of any stimulation.  Of course, even minus any physical stimulation, I leaked precum all over her, me and the bed.  What a wonderful way to cross the threshold.

Now the game really begins…

Epic Teasing

Twenty-six days of denial.  So close to hitting the mark of thirty days.  Yet, yesterday, I had begun to think that I would pop, if I didn’t have an orgasm.  I am not sure what was going on, but, by the time I arrived home, I was bursting at the seams.  Not long after arriving home, I pulled NW back to the bedroom and she spent a good twenty minutes slowly sucking my cock, playing with my balls and working me to the edge.  It helped the situation at the same time that it made it worse.

My lower back and hips ached with want.  My prostate felt fully loaded and ready to unload.  My mind was not ready to orgasm, but my body was for it, one hundred percent.  In fact, my body wanted it so badly that my brain began to falter.  Fortunately, NW made the decision for me.

Later that evening, at bedtime, as usual, NW and I settled in for the final play for the day.  Both of us tired, NW spun around and presented her sex for my attention.  I went down on her for about ten minutes…lick, suck, nibble, flick, bite, pull.  Over and over again I rotated through them.  Over and over again she came.  She came until she decided that she had orgasmed as much as she wanted.  It is always nice to take her to that point.  Anymore, it is commonplace.

She turned her attention to me and started where she had left off.  This time, however, she found the rhythm.  After edging me a couple of times, she found a nice, slow rhythm, with the perfect grip, and was able to hold me near edge, though not directly on it, for at least two minutes.  It was agonizingly wonderful.

Once I warned her off, she started again, but was only able to drag it out for thirty to forty-five seconds.  Thirty to forty-five seconds that felt like forever.  A few more edges, and I was finally primed for what NW stumbled upon.  She began stroking me with a slow stroke and light grip.  Her grip was such that I was only receiving stimulation on the top side of my cock.  The lion’s share of the stimulation being to the top of my cockhead (not the tip, but the middle area on top).

The sensation was intense beyond words.  It felt as though tiny knives were lightly cutting across the top of my cockhead.  It was, in some manner, painful.  At the same time, it was pleasurable.  I never could truly decide which was stronger, only that the sensation was as intense as I cold imagine.  Also, it was near maddening.  I can only liken to the “painful” intensity/sensation of being stroked immediately following an orgasm.  It very much felt like that.  Intensity, sparks, overstimulation, but not working towards orgasm.

As much as I was feeling, it was not moving me towards edge.  It was just a mind numbing sensation.  One that seemed to go on and on.  Initially I revelled in it.  Soon, though, I found myself gripping NW’s leg, with one hand, and the headboard with the other.  I was trying to brace myself, as the sensation kept growing, but I was not progressing towards an end.  NW later told me that I even whimpered, at one point.  Rightfully so…the intensity was that of being held a micron away from orgasm, but the physical urge of orgasm, try as I might, was out of reach.

This went on for two minutes?  Maybe three?  I couldn’t gauge it.  Thankfully, though, NW’s pace finally increased, though fortuitously, and with that came a slight bit of stimulation to the tip. I was edged.

I have never been so happy, and yet so distraught, over the loss of an experience.  Had it not ended, I might be in a mental ward, right now.  The maddening feeling, though, made me want it to go on forever.  Here’s hoping she can find it again.