If you have been keeping up with the blog, you know that the current thirty-nine day run of denial and orgasm control has been based on the honor system. We have not used a chastity/cock cage, because my old CB2000 just isn’t secure and my old Crossfire just doesn’t fit right.
Is that a problem? For the purposes of me not playing with myself or touching my (NW’s) cock, no. My word is gold. And, yes, I understand that it wouldn’t be a workable solution for some. Given our relationship, though, it is more than sufficient. So, if that is the case, why even spend the money on a new chastity cage? I mean, if the honor system ends with the same result…NW’s ability to control my sexual pleasure…does it even make a difference?
The answer to that is an emphatic yes. You see, in the honor system, the control is indirect. NW tells me not to touch or pleasure her property. I then have to process that directive and choose to comply. I do, of course, because I have given my word. But that makes me a middleman in this. And nothing happens without the middleman…hence the indirect control.
Having a chastity cage in place, however, removes the middleman from the equation and makes it direct control. NW locks up her property because she doesn’t want anyone, including me, touching or pleasuring it. She locks it up and it immediately becomes inaccessible…direct control.
While that is a physical difference, since the cage actually limits the ability to physically interact with my cock, it is the mental aspect that carries the most impact. The cage means that I can’t stimulate myself. I can’t give myself an orgasm. I can’t even become erect. It removes the possibility, without direct intervention, meaning a desire for it to happen, by NW. The control actually becomes hers.
Here is where I would say, or you will read others say, “And I have zero control over it.” Well, that isn’t true, of course. If I were to get to a point where I demanded to be out of the cage, she would release me. There is nothing about sex and/or chastity that is important enough to cause issues in our relationship. And if I have hit that point (not simply wanting to have an orgasm or be free of the cage), where I have thrown off any hint of sex or play and my only thought is being free from it, then it needs to be removed.
So, it would seem, that I am still the middleman in this. Except that, until I have hit that point (if I ever do), I am still under NW’s physical control, via the cage. Also, there are ways to remove the immediacy of events that a free range cock enjoys. That might include functional or situational things like… I am at work. I have no key. NW is at home. I have zero choice but to stay locked…or find someone to cut it off. Or maybe we are out running our errands and she decides to leave all of the keys at home. We go on a vacation and she doesn’t bring the key. Or, maybe, the key doesn’t even stay at the house or on her person. Maybe a third party holds the key (knowing or not knowing what it is for) or it is kept in a safe, offsite location, where quick or immediate access isn’t even a possibility.
My only warning on any of these is that a situation might arise where you would want/need to remove the cage. Not having an emergency key handy could be an issue. Unless, of course, you have no concerns about potentially anyone and everyone knowing that you are caged…think trip to the hospital. And if that is your situation, by all means, lock the keys far away, if you like.
There are other ways to mitigate the immediacy, such as, NW and I have agreed that, if I hit that point of “let me out or the world will end”, there will be a twenty-four hour waiting period. Unless there is an emergency that would require otherwise (medical emergency, having to get on a plane or such…), just about anyone can survive those twenty-four hours. It gives a set release time, is assured, but still allows a cool down period to make sure the “need” is real…or that you simply don’t change your mind.
In the event that one of us were to just burn out on the chastity aspect of this, we have instituted a seventy-two hour waiting period. So, if I decide, tomorrow morning, that I just don’t want to do this anymore, I have to wait seventy-two hours before it officially ends. During that time, things will go on as they have. My sex would still be completely under her control. She can continue to do whatever she likes. She can use that time, and whatever methods she wants to employ, to try to convince me otherwise, assuming she wants to continue it. And it gives me the chance to really think it over and decide if I really want to stop, if I am just having a rough couple of days, if there is some other root cause that really doesn’t warrant ending it and whether or not I am going to regret having ended it.
None of that is legitimately enforceable without the cage, though. The cage prevents me from doing what I shouldn’t and forces me to honor that to which we have agreed…even when I think I no longer want it.
Beyond all of this, though, there are other perks to being actually caged. NW is aroused by the idea of my cock being, actually, locked and under her control. I, too, am aroused by that. Going about my day to day business, at work, shopping, whatever, with my cock locked away in a cage the whole time, is very much a turn on to me. It is to NW, as well. And it makes both of us wonder who else, in the masses of people around us, are enjoying (or suffering through) some unseen kink.
And lets be honest, when I tell someone else about what is going on, whether me sharing it here, on the blog, or NW or I sharing it with a third party, the chastity play is kinky. But keeping your spouse, or being kept by your spouse, in a cock cage, over which he has no immediate control, is a lot hotter and more arousing to share. Not to mention, you can’t see chastity. But you can definitely see a chastity cage!
Finally, back to the physical aspect of being caged, it is the way it feels. Initially, it is a constant reminder that my orgasms, my erections, my cock and, hence, my sex are no longer under my control. As I become used to wearing it, though, I forget it is there. The snug, warm feel of the metal sheathing my cock becomes normal. It is comforting. It lends an odd sense of safety. And it comes to a point where not being caged feels wrong and unnatural. I learn to crave the cage.
It makes me feel like a kept man…