As mentioned, with the re-emergence of our sex life, NW suggested chastity. It took her less than a week. We have discussed what precipitated the sudden interest and it is so clear. She has felt so out of control over the past several years…especially with the chronic pain, but also with familial issues. She doesn’t want to feel submissive right now. She has felt that she had zero control, for so long, even over her own body, that she wants to feel in control of something…anything! That makes complete sense.
Couple that with her want of something more intense and her love of tease and denial…in reference to me being teased and denied, of course, and…
She picked a big thing to control, that meets all of those wants…her husband’s sex. She knows that chastity is never far from my mind, even when I am feeling anything but submissive. What could I say? She gets the control she needs for her mental health. She gets the huge oomph of controlling someone who is nearly twice her size. And she gets sex the way she wants it! For my part, I, hopefully, get to feel the other side.
This is not a lifestyle change, however. This is a change in our renewed sex life.
The first thing claimed was control of my cock, obviously. Even without a current working cage, I have lost the right to use “her” cock and balls except for utilitarian purposes. No masturbating, no playing with it, no doing anything that doesn’t involve urination or hygiene. Admittedly, sans the cage, neither of us feel the full impact of this control. I mean…obviously, I am horny. But the “enforced” part of “enforced chastity” is all on me, since it is based solely on me having given my word. That is good as gold, but not the same. We both prefer that the enforcement be by steel. That will make it actually real and out of my hands…no pun intended.
Beyond this, when we are in the bedroom (for anything sexual), all control is hers. Her plans, her way, her whims… If she is not doing something that would preclude it, like having me face down and flogging my ass, I am allowed to ask for something I would like (that is how she wanted it). She, of course, makes the decision. Once the cage arrives and is in place, I can still ask for things during sex, but it cannot be anything that would require the cage to be removed. I will not be allowed to ask for it to be removed, at any time…in or out of the bedroom, or for anything that would require its removal. The chastity is the one thing that will span all parts of our life.
I am not allowed to make suggestions, per se, in the bedroom. I am allowed to make requests…again, not related to the impending cage and release from it. This is her way of getting feedback from me, without me being directing. And feedback is paramount at this point, as you will see in the next post.
Outside of the bedroom, everything is normal, even though my desire to see her happy is heightened. I always like to see her happy, because I love her. But this want is a little different.
Also, I am free to pleasure her whenever the mood hits…orally and/or manually…assuming she doesn’t have a reason why we shouldn’t. Like I said, normal.
So, that is basically the framework we are working within, at present. It is somewhat fluid as we learn each other, and ourselves, in roles with which we have little experience. We have had discussions, sessions, discussions about sessions. It has been a lot of work, and still is, finding our mutual groove. But it is moving forward.
Oh…and the new Crossfire has been ordered!