Endings and Beginnings

Sometimes things don’t change…at least not immediately.

Last night was the third night in a row that NW and I enjoyed CBT.  We have been focusing less on the squeezing and more on impact play.  Meaning, NW secures my balls with her left hand and then punches them with her right.  Sometimes she punches quickly, sometimes slowly, and with varied force.  The idea is to work up to a rhythmic pounding where each blow is moderately, verging on extremely, painful, but at a pace that allows me the moment needed to digest it and accept the next.

This is a turn on to me for many reasons…the sexual nature, the will power needed to endure, the severe treatment of such a tender/sexual/personal area.  It is really interesting looking down and seeing my NW perched between my spread legs, balls in one hand and forcefully punching them with the other.  The wonderful smile on her face as I wince, writhe and moan.

Anyway, back to the title.  When I woke up this morning, I coaxed NW into squeezing my balls some more.  (Like I said, I am very horny).  We talked about the fact that it has been fifty-seven days.  That Saturday will make it sixty days (two full months).  We talked about whether or not she had any idea where she wanted to take this.  She isn’t sure.

What we do know, though, is that she has no intention of my next orgasm happening anytime this year.  Since she said that I likely won’t have one on New Year’s either (want to make sure we bring in the new year with me being denied), I know that I will, at least, hit the seventy day mark.  That will be four weeks longer than I have ever gone.

We will see…

All I Want For Christmas…

And so we reach day fifty-five.  When this started, back on October 22nd, I had no idea how long it would or wouldn’t last.  As it stands right now, I still don’t know.  All decisions as to whether or not I get to orgasm are now, and have been for about two weeks, firmly in NW’s hands.

The decision has always been NW’s.  It is just that we agreed that I would remain denied until three goals, that I had come up with, were met.  Once those goals were met, it was completely up to her.  As fate would have it, one of those goals has been abandoned because I am better served by doing so and pursuing a different path.  I will eventually get to it.  Other things have taken precedence, however.

A second goal will be achieved due to the publishing of this post.  This goal was rather pointless…to reach 50,000 hits on the blog.  It was just one more condition to put on my ability to have an orgasm.  When I wake up tomorrow morning, marking the completion of week eight of being denied, that goal will have been met.

This leaves one final goal.  Not a goal that the completion of which guarantees an immediate orgasm.  A goal that means NW is clear to give me an orgasm, if she so chooses.  It simply means that the goals have been met and the agreement to keep me denied at least until will have been met.

Things are becoming more difficult, however.  For the first six and a half weeks, I really had no problem with being denied.  Much to my surprise, I had been very much able to keep my want and frustration well in check.  The past week and a half, however, things have not been so easy.  I have been mindlessly horny.  Pretty much if it is humanoid, has a pulse and produces more estrogen than testosterone, it is a potential target for my lust.

Compounding this, it is far too easy for NW to get me edged and far too difficult for me to fall back from it.  Once I am edged, she can barely doing anything to/with my cock or I will go careening over the edge.  I am very much fully loaded and my body is primed to erupt.  There have been a couple of nights that just curling up behind NW has caused a…uh…vibration, for lack of a better word, to rise in my cock and nearly take me over the edge…with no actual external stimulation.

In any case, I am more than ready to have NW take me over the edge.  She seems in no way interested, though.  In fact, despite my telling her that the last goal might not be tenable (and it may not be), she says that she isn’t going to let me give up on it.  So, for the time being, at least, this is going to continue.

As a way to combat the growing want of orgasm, we have turned back to CBT.  It is not the same, obviously, but prolonged CBT does provide stimulation and has the effect, eventually, of exhausting me.  That exhaustion gives a sense of satiation…again, not the same.  So far, though, it has been enough to keep me going.

All that being said, I know what I won’t be getting for Christmas…

Still Here…

We are still here.  It has just been a really busy week.  We did fool around this weekend.  There was nothing really earth shattering to pass along.  Even if there was, there wasn’t much free time to pass it along in.

I guess the only thing worth mentioning is that it has been forty-nine days now.  Wednesday morning will make it fifty and a week more than my previous longest.  I can finally tell.  The first six weeks went by pretty easily.  I am starting to get antsy, though.

I am not sure how much longer this will go on, but the end doesn’t seem to be in sight.  I guess we will all find out about the same time.

Inquiry Answered

We received a response to the last post.  Here it is…

“I made it till the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (107 days total).  I think my wife just got tired of the whole thing and wanted some “vanilla” sex for a while.  Day 100 was interesting because she told me I was going to be waiting at least another 100 (which obviously din’t happen).  As usual, first orgasm after long wait was blah, but second one was awesome.  No word on when we’re going to start back up, but I think we’ll take a bit of a break now.”

One-hundred and seven days is a long time for me.  I am sitting here at forty-five days thinking…I’m not even half way there!  And I am already into never before trodden territory, for myself.

I have no idea how long ours will run.  I do know that NW is aware that January 1st might be the trigger day.  Trigger meaning that it is the day that, if goals have not been met, she no longer needs to feel that she has to wait for them to be met.  Part of that is because in working towards these goals, I am not doing anything that would immediately let me reach them.  I am working towards them but not actively trying them.  We will see, though.

Along with what gfai said, I think NW is starting to miss certain activities that involve various intercourse.  We try them, once in a while, but I get too close too fast.  That will likely be one of the driving forces as to when I get my first release.

And, as commented above, I expect the first one to be less than spectacular.  In fact, I find my first to be uncomfortable…even mildly painful.  It is almost like my body doesn’t fire in synch and I am having to blow out the pipes.

In any case, I likely won’t have to worry about that for a while.

Thank you gfai for the reply!


Not quite a month ago, when I finally returned.  I received a few comments from gfaiman.  Here are a couple, “Welcome back!  Looking forward to your exploits again.  Myself, I’m at day 94 (longest previous was 75 days) with 73 more days to go (at least).  Even though she keeps threatening me with waiting till our 10th anniversary (which is in 2014!).”

Also, “No relief of any kind.  Some nights, although not many, she lets me out of my device for a teasing, which I both look forward to and dread since it is so much more difficult to get to sleep.  She says she has a big surprise planned for day 100, but she also keeps saying my birthday which is in 73 days, so who knows how much longer.”

I have been meaning to ask how things are going or how they went, but keep getting sidetracked.  So, hopefully you see this post!

Did anything special/interesting happen on day 100?  Are you still being denied?  If not, when did it end and how?  If you are still being denied, have you any idea what the plan is?  Lastly, what type of device are you using?  I never thought to ask that before..

Hope all is well!


Forty-four days and counting on this end.  That seems so few compared to 100+.

Crossing over…

I climbed out of bed this morning and realized that I have now been forty-two days without an orgasm.  That is only significant because it matches the longest that I have been denied, or just gone without an orgasm, since I found masturbation, when I was twelve.  As I have said before, this go around has not been nearly as bad.  We have prevented it from being hyper-sexualized, to everyone’s benefit.

The only thing is, we still have absolutely no idea when this will end.  I had mentioned before that I have three goals that I wanted to achieve before having an orgasm became a viable option.  NW agreed to this.  One goal will definitely be complete before the end of December.  A second goal likely will.  I am not so sure about the third.

Given that, we are toying with the idea of making it “when all three goals are met or January 1st”, whichever comes first.  Not as a definite day to orgasm, of course.  Just as a date when NW can give an orgasm anytime that she likes.  But that is still up in the air.  Either way, barring an outside reason to stop this, we are most likely going to cross two months and keep going for a bit.

My want is starting to get a bit testy, every now and again, though.  That definitely isn’t all bad…

The Week In Review…

Okay, it is more like 10 days, but “a week” sounded better.  In either case, it shouldn’t have taken this long for me to post again.  I have just been swamped with…well…life.

So, to catch up.  Last weekend was a CBT extravaganza.  Yes, my previous post was about CBT.  That was two weekends ago, however.  This is in reference to last weekend.  In the thirty-five hour period from 11:00 Friday night, until 10:00 Sunday morning, we spent no less than six hours actively engaging in CBT.

What was done is the same list I give every time.  My testicles were squeezed (together and separately), rolled against each other, sucked to pain, pulled, slapped, flicked, punched and we even added kicking this time around.  Once my balls started to wear their soreness, on Friday night, the soreness/ache did not disappear until sometime late Tuesday.  I was pretty much ever aware of its presence.

There were really only two things of note, other than carrying it to a point that the soreness lasted two days beyond the last impact.  The first was the introduction of kicking.  We tried this with me sitting on the floor and NW stepping up and impacting with the top of her foot.  Then we tried it with me on my knees and her kicking from the front.  Lastly, we tried it with me on all fours and her standing to the rear of me.  By far, the best was the last.  The angle was wrong when I was just on my knees.  When I was sitting, my pubic bone kept catching the brunt of the impact.

From behind, with me on all fours, NW was able to target easily, transfer the energy into my cock and balls, instead of the bone, and play with the dangling mass.  It hurt like hell, but was definitely worth it.

The second thing of note was NW’s loss of inhibition.  Friday night, she had expressed concern that we were going too far.  That she might actually be doing damage.  By the latter half of Saturday night and into Sunday morning, all such talk had disappeared and she was hurting me without much thought.

Now, I realize that she was still being mindful of not ripping my testicles off (thank you, NW).  She had pretty much decided that if I didn’t erupt in protest pain, that she was good to go and hurt me according.  All in all, it was rather agonizing and insanely blissful at the same time.  I cannot begin to tell you how many times I was edged from the pain.

Well, that was last weekend.  This weekend has been much more tame…and that is good as well.  She has had lots of orgasms.  I have had no orgasms.  I did finally receive stroking to my shaft.  That was ecstatic on so many levels.  I had done a little breath play with her.  She comes so hard from having her air removed.  It is almost a guaranteed eruption of female ejaculation.  And it makes me leak like no one’s business.  So, I guess that it works for both of us.

Anyway…40 days down…who knows how many more.