After much talk and deliberation, we have concluded/realized the following…I have not wanted sex for several days, neither has NW, really. I have not been happy, or this hasn’t been fun, for about the same period. If I am not happy or having fun, neither is NW. There is no amount of ruined orgasms that is going to fix this.
So, this evening, or tomorrow, I am going to have a full orgasm. I will, at least for now, be free to pleasure myself…but will stop short of orgasm. This weekend, we are going to have a blowout. We are going to go at it like rabid bunnies and indulge in some things (anal sex, for one) that we have been avoiding for fear that I would cross the line. Also, not worrying about whether or not I orgasm will let us go at it unbridled.
How many orgasms? We don’t know and we don’t care. We just want to reset this, have fun that we have been avoiding, and see where we are when the smoke clears. It may be back to denial, it may not. I find it highly likely, though, that the OC will still be in place. Since I am not masturbating, NW will still be my only source of orgasm. She will still be able to tell me that she doesn’t want me to come, even this weekend, but I don’t think that will come up.
In summation, the denial will end, at least for a few days. The control will remain intact. We will go from there.