Thinking a little more on my state of mind, something else jumped out at me. I don’t fantasize anymore. That has always been a huge player in my level of arousal and want of sex. Porn, whether stories, pics or videos always fueled fantasy. Any more, though, I just don’t fantasize. Probably because I used fantasy when masturbating, whether to orgasm or not. Since I don’t masturbate, or even play with myself, the fantasy has become pointless and fallen by the wayside.
That has blown a huge hole in how I normally function. It has, no doubt, contributed to me being where I am…wanting an orgasm but having no real interest in sex. I think this is more frustrating than the ruined orgasms, as it has made this more work than fun.