CBT – Needle Play

As I mentioned in my last post, there was more to follow.  I told NW about what had happened.  She was a bit jealous/frustrated, because I had done it myself.  She wanted to watch.  She has made it clear that she has no desire, or intention, of ever doing it to me…she is rather emphatic.  She definitely wanted to see me do it, however.

I explained to NW that I had considered calling her in there, on Sunday morning.  I decided not to, however.  Why?  Because of a couple of things.  To actually do this to myself, it takes an inordinate amount of focus.  Someone else being there is somewhat of a distraction.  It is also a very intense and personal experience.  The other part is that I have a fear of failure, when it comes to her.  I don’t want to say “Hey, come watch this!”, only to decide that I can’t do it, right then.  She understood.

In any case, I decided that last night was going to be the night.  I was nervous, even scared.  I mean, driving a needle, not only into, but through your testicle is worthy of fear…right?  That is what I felt.  My want of it, however, was far too great to turn back.

So, I gathered my stuff, plopped on the bed and NW joined me.  We turned on a porn (Sasha Grey, of course) to help carry us through.  NW played with me for about fifteen minutes, edging me a couple of times.  Then we started.  The needles were sterile but still got the alcohol treatment.  My balls were tied off, so that I could attempt, for the first time ever, to pierce both in the same session.  Tied off, so that they wouldn’t get in the way of each other.  They had been washed and rubbed down with alcohol as well.

In the end, we were successful.  I skewered my right testicle first and the left second.  Here are a few pics to capture the occasion…

Starting the first insertion

First insertion completed

After getting this all the way through, I took about a twenty second break, for NW to take pictures and allow to sink in what she had just watched me do.

You will notice, in the second set, that there is an orange and white thingy on the end of the needle.  That is cork.  Yes, as in part of a fishing cork.  I had to improvise and really didn’t want the end of the needle slipping back inside of me while I was messing with the other needle.

On to the left testicle…

Half through second insertion

Second insertion completed

Having gotten the second needle all the way through, it was corked as well.

Final Product

Once in place, and after a few moments for me to gather myself, I had NW grab both of the needles’ bases and gently twist them.  Again, this was to loosen the incredibly tight grip that my balls and skin had on them.  Also, though, I was hoping for a repeat of the previous morning’s eruption.

It felt weird, slightly painful.  I had her wiggle them back and forth, all the while continuing to rotate them inside my balls.  It hurt, it yielded stimulation, but I wasn’t going to orgasm.  So, she took me in her mouth, just the head, and worked me with her tongue, while continuing to work the needles.

It didn’t take much and I was heading for the edge.  I warned her and she pulled her mouth away, gave one more tug and rotation and released.  A few seconds later a heavy, thick spurt hit me at the bottom of my chest.  The rest dribbled out as the ruined orgasm played out.  It was done.  It was good.  I was aching.

Now to remove the needles.  I always hate this part.  Believe it or not, it is uncomfortable.  I removed the needle from my left testicle first.  I little tug as the tip re-entered my body, but otherwise okay.  The needle in the right testicle resisted a little more, but finally yielded.  NW immediately noticed, and the sheets confirmed, that just as the tip of the needle pulled back in to me, vacating the exit hole, a small stream of clear fluid, with some blood in it leaked out forcefully.  I finished removing the needle, and slid back to see.  I would say that it was at least a dropper full of fluid.  I am not sure what it was, other than the red being blood.  Some sort of seminal fluid, I can only guess.

In any case, there you have it.  It will be a while before I consider doing this again.

The Power of Fantasy And My Poor Testicle

It has been a few days since I posted.  I need to catch up a little bit.  Not that there is a lot to say, but I suppose someone wants to know.

My last full orgasm was last Thursday.  I have had two ruined orgasms, in that time.  One was accidental.  One was intentional.  When I will have my next full orgasm, I don’t know.  Right now, NW does not seem interested in denying me.  So, I have been denying myself.  I think the main drive behind it is the want of arousal…intense arousal.

A good bit of this, honestly, is because I have rekindled my relationship with fantasy and self-edging.  Since last week, I have returned to my normal routine of ‘masturbation’.  As a rule, every morning, afternoon and evening (assuming time permits for the latter), I will enjoy some porn, play with myself, edge myself (repeatedly) and leave myself frustrated and fully charged.  Any release is reserved for NW.  All the while, I am able to view the naughtiness on my computer and use the images there to drift into all sorts of enlivening fantasies.

The ability to pleasure myself, even short of orgasm, keeps me wound up, sated (mentally) and ready to try new things and pleasure NW.  In fact, NW really reaped the benefits, on Sunday morning.  We started fooling around and I let my want get a bit out of hand.  After making her orgasm until she was actually trying to get away, she found herself with all four fingers, on my right hand, as deep in her pussy as they would go.  Not to be outdone, my thumb dug into her asshole.  I violently thrusted in and out, tried to push deeper and even used my grip to push her down into the mattress and lift her off of it.  She was still sore yesterday…but had immense…uh…fun?

Back to the title, though.  My poor testicle?  Well, you see, after playing with NW, Sunday morning, I was more than a little worked up.  She did not get me there, and I didn’t want to get there.  I was hungering for something more intense and a mere orgasm wasn’t going to cut it.  So, I retired to the bathroom.

I broke out the laptop and started the fantasy wind up.  Not that I needed it to wind me up.  NW had already done that.  But I needed something to keep it going, for what I was going to do.

Long story short, a one and a half inch hypodermic needle was pushed into, and then all the way through, my left testicle.  I was skewered!  Did it hurt?  Yes…but not a badly as you would think.  Going slow really helps.  Of course, going through the skin is only mildly painful.  It is a sharp pain, but brief, and most of you have experienced it in some form.

It is the second barrier, the sheath around the testicle that is actually the most painful.  As the needle presses against it, you get a sense that a nerve is being hit.  I am not sure how to explain it.  It is almost like being shocked with electricity.  Going slow, though, helps to minimize it.  Of course, there is also the ‘pop’, as the needle pierces/tears through it.  The sheath must be thick and strong.

The interior of the testicle is almost a non-event.  Once you get through the sheath, the needle glides through the meat of the testicle with little resistance and, oddly, not a lot of sensation.

In any case, there I sit…my left nut skewered on a hypodermic needle.  I noticed that the sheath and skin, at that exit point, are really squeezing the needle tightly.  I begin to fumble with my cock, to get it out of the way, and start twisting the needle, to see if I can loosen the grip on it.  I was really concerned that pulling it out would be excruciating, given how tight I was around it.

Then it happened.  Between the thoughtless pressure I was putting on my cock, just to keep it out of the way, and the wondrous feeling of the needle twisting, through the whole of my testicle, there arose a slight sense of rising pressure/urgency.  All of the sensation, though, was centered in the testicle.  I released my cock and the needle.  It kept rising, though.  Fully ten to fifteen seconds later, my scrotum drawn up tight (which increased the sensation in my testicle), my half erect cock erupted.  The first spurt actually hit me in the upper chest.  Despite the potential for a mind-blowing orgasm, I let it ruin.  More out of fear than anything.

While it was obviously pleasure that caused all of it to happen, there was also almost an auto response to what I was experiencing.  Not necessarily born of pleasure, but of sensation.  Mentally, it was not pleasurable, at the time.  Fear killed that.  I didn’t know what would happen when I came this way.  My scrotum had drawn up, sperm was pumping, contractions were occurring.  What if it caused real damage?  What if the needle broke?  It didn’t.

In retrospect, it was cool as hell!  I had just skewered my left testicle.  And with only the sensation of pushing my cock out of the way and twisting the needle running through my testicle, a flicker of an orgasm was born.  And orgasm that came alive and gave fruition to itself feeding only off the sensations created by my pierced testicle.

This wasn’t the only needle play, though.  More to follow…

Wow! Things Have Been Busy!

Life has wound up into high gear.  I haven’t had time to post properly.  NW and I have been exhausted by evening.  This is one weekend that I am not only looking forward to, but need.

That being said, there was no sex on Thursday…not even a playful grope.  We did fool around last night.  It was rather tame, though.  I brought NW to orgasm, multiple times, using my fingers and tormenting her right nipple with my teeth.  It should be sore today.  NW stroked me to orgasm  She did it in my favorite way…one hand under my balls, to lift them into the path of her stroking hand.  Every downstroke, her stroking hand impacts my balls.  It is just enough to create sensation and be very mildly uncomfortable.  It is also the fastest way to get me there.  It was a great orgasm.

Recap of the past week…  Last night marked the eighth day since I my first full orgasm this year.  I have had eight orgasms in eight days.  One per day, on average, is slightly more frequent that none in forty-two days.  We are still pondering where to go from here.  Likely, we would have already decided, were it not for the high-speed, near chaos, of everyday life.  Hopefully that is about to slow down.

Anyway, off to the weekend!

Where Do We Go From Here?

NW and I are still tooling along.  We aren’t sure where things are going to lead.  We aren’t sure what exactly we want.  So, we are just moving forward, enjoy ourselves, and one another.

To catch up a bit…  I did not have an orgasm on Sunday.  I don’t think that it was necessarily planned that way.  It is just the way it happened.  By evening, we were both completely wiped out and just decided to pass.

Yesterday was a completely different day, however.  When I got home, NW and I retired to the bedroom for a short bit.  NW was given multiple orgasms and I was given one as well.  We had joked about getting me there twice, in rapid succession, but that passed unnoticed.  Well, for about 20 minutes.

While sitting at the computer, I realized that my arousal had returned.  I informed NW and she came back to the office (spare bedroom) and gave me a blowjob.  So, two orgasms in twenty-five minutes.  Later that evening, at bedtime, I brought NW to orgasm several more times and she gave me my third orgasm of the day.  That made for three orgasms in less than six hours.

Oh, I guess I could mention that NW broke out the sounds and used one on me, prior to my first orgasm.  I guess, technically, she was still using it on me during my first orgasm, as at least eight inches of it was still inside me.  It felt odd, and slightly uncomfortable, to orgasm with my urethra blocked.  Some semen did escape around the edges.  It did make my abdomen feel weird.  And there was a bit of blood in the semen, but not much.  In all, it was a good experience.

For tonight?  Who knows.  Work is busy and it hasn’t even crossed my mind.  I will let you know, though.

Insatiable…Even While Plundering NW’s Ass

It seems that, now that I have been freed to have orgasms, I am insatiable.  After Tuesday and Wednesday’s ruined orgasms, I had full orgasms Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday morning and Saturday evening.  Yet, I am still in dire need of an orgasm fix.  The orgasms have grown less intense, the more I have.  That sense of needing to get there, though, has not diminished.

After spending considerable time plundering NW’s ass, with my tongue, I drilled it, Friday night.  My entry was abrupt and painful…just like NW likes it.  Saturday morning, with her ass still sore, I violated it again.  This served a double purpose.  The first is that she was still sore from the night before.  So, revisiting it so soon after, made sure that it was even more intense than the first time.  The second purpose was to make sure that her ass stayed sore.  I love knowing that she can feel, well beyond completion, what we have done.  I think we will go for round three today.

NW has commented a few times that it is nice to be back to “normal” sex.  No worrying about whether or not I am going to go over the edge.  No having to stop short because I am too close.  That said, she still holds control over whether or not I orgasm.  She just has no desire to limit what is going on in any manner.  As I am in constant want of orgasm, I am all for that.

In short, we are just having fun, as usual.  The focus is shifting.  For how long?  I have no clue.  Honestly, we could care less, as long as it is intense and fun.

Full Orgasm

Well, as good as it was…and the contractions seemed to go on forever…it was diminished by the previous two night’s ruined orgasms.  I am not complaining, mind you.  It still felt great to be able to carry through a full orgasm after six weeks of being denied one.  Not surprisingly, I remained pretty close to fully erect for a couple of minutes afterwards.  After ten minutes or so, I could have gone again.  It was late, though, and we were both wiped out.

Also, I masturbated, this morning.  Not to orgasm, mind you, but I edged myself a couple of time.  It felt really good.  And…I was able to fantasize while doing it.  It was a welcome return of a old friend.  I am already looking forward to tonight.

Concerning that, I have no idea how it will play out.  I suspect that there will be stroking, sucking, licking and depending on NW, some anal sex.  It should be a great start to the weekend.

Resolution?

After much talk and deliberation, we have concluded/realized the following…I have not wanted sex for several days, neither has NW, really.  I have not been happy, or this hasn’t been fun, for about the same period.  If I am not happy or having fun, neither is NW.  There is no amount of ruined orgasms that is going to fix this.

So, this evening, or tomorrow, I am going to have a full orgasm.  I will, at least for now, be free to pleasure myself…but will stop short of orgasm.  This weekend, we are going to have a blowout.  We are going to go at it like rabid bunnies and indulge in some things (anal sex, for one) that we have been avoiding for fear that I would cross the line.  Also, not worrying about whether or not I orgasm will let us go at it unbridled.

How many orgasms?  We don’t know and we don’t care.  We just want to reset this, have fun that we have been avoiding, and see where we are when the smoke clears.  It may be back to denial, it may not.  I find it highly likely, though, that the OC will still be in place.  Since I am not masturbating, NW will still be my only source of orgasm.  She will still be able to tell me that she doesn’t want me to come, even this weekend, but I don’t think that will come up.

In summation, the denial will end, at least for a few days.  The control will remain intact.  We will go from there.