I can tell you that I have fantasized about being a sub/slave. This might involve me being just a plaything for some little hottie to an all out, subjugated slave, to a domineering bitch of a mistress. Yet, I am not submissive. I have tried to go there, only to have it crash and burn. It is not who I am by default. The intensity of the fantasy, however, was immense. In the slave fantasy, I have been beaten nearly unconscious, denied sex and orgasm indefinitely, made to drink piss and clean soiled asses with my tongue. And, yes, my straight self has sucked cock, because I am so broken, to please my mistress or to reach an end. And, again, yes, it turned me on to no end. In real life, I find the thought more than repugnant, but I am aroused by it in fantasy. Why?
I think the answer has two parts. The first part is that the scenario is intense as hell and revolves around something I find fascinating, or have a degree of want for, even if I can’t actually live it. I would like to experience submission. I am just not wired for it beyond an hour of pretend, in the bedroom.
The second part is that, in fantasy, you can ignore, or push aside, your objections. In real life, there is no way in hell that I am taking a cock in my mouth. In my fantasy, though, I can create an environment that, for me, would never work in real life. The fantasy is usually that I, either willingly or not, am forced to submit to a mistress. Over time I am broken down and it becomes the way things are. I am forced to suck cock as the ultimate means of humiliating me, or breaking me or simply to confirm to me my complete and utter degradation and subjugation. The cocksucking is not the point of the fantasy. It is a tool to make a bigger point or reach a deeper end.
I think this is why some of us fantasize some of the things we do. Perhaps it is not cuckolding, per se, or cleaning up afterwards that drives it (Yes, for some it might be, especially the latter.). Perhaps those are only tools to help work towards an end. Maybe it is submissiveness that you seek. More extreme, perhaps, you seek to feel or be shown that you are inferior, or unworthy. What better means to achieve this than to be replaced by another man. How better than to not be worthy of having an orgasm, of pleasuring your wife or to be treated as less than she treats everyone else? With any of these, in this scenario, they are a means to bring an end/feeling, not the ends themselves. I think the race of the “stud” has more involved with it than can be covered here, but part of it, I think, is the “bad boy” aspect and/or perhaps, the sense of crossing a line.
But if this is going to be played out in fantasy, it has to be extreme, because you are missing a huge part of the stimulation…actual experience.
Referring to what this long-winded post started with, I think that environment (a man only having men around them) can influence what we find acceptable or do to sate out sexual needs. Also, though, I think our fantasies and the media we consume can cause us to expand, or change what we want and actually do. To go back to the prison example, and RA’s post, if you are only fed black male stud, white wife and cuckold porn, as your only sexual input, I believe that you will eventually (time based on the individual) come to terms with it and possibly even be in want of trying it…moral objections aside.
An individual’s objections, or repulsion, to something will wane as they are continually exposed to it. I am sure every one of you can find something in your sex life where that is true. At one point, you said “never”, but now you have done, or are doing, it. They won’t necessarily crave it, but that could occur too. After all, if that is all of the media they are exposed to; eventually they will fantasize about it. Once you start fantasizing about something, it is a much shorter road to doing it, especially as you start to associate your physical pleasure with it, by masturbating to the media or the fantasy.
This doesn’t mean that everyone can be influenced to do everything. In fact, if your resistance is deeply seated, you may never become comfortable with it. It is much more likely to occur in fantasy than reality, however. As for me, I can assure you that I have fantaises that will never become reality, barring a complete breakdown of who I am and what I believe.
I personally believe that we are all born with certain inclinations and that we develop others, often at a young age. I think these two things will most likely determine the direction one goes in, once they start trying to find the next, new, intense experience. Of course, one cannot exclude very traumatic life experiences that have a life-lasting impact…not all of them bad.
In any case, that is my completely less than professional opinion. Want of sexual gratification and ever more intense experiences leads us to find, explore and fantasize new things. This mental dabbling leads to familiarity and, sometimes, experimentation. Of course, many of these things, while powerful on their own, are simply tools to feed an even bigger fantasy or want. But, in the absence of pursuing one’s normal means of sexual stimulation, we take it where we can get it. And yet, deeply seated resistance to something, is not likely to be overcome. It can test how deeply seated the resistance is though.
I apologize for the length of this. Not to mention, it rambles like hell. In my defense, I was writing it in shorts increments, throughout the work day. Difficult to keep my train of thought.