Today starts my twelfth day without an orgasm. Twelve is not a very high number. Things shouldn’t be that trying, one would think. For some, it is a blink of an eye. For others, it might seem nigh eternity. For me, it is nearing half as long as the longest I have ever been denied. That comes Thursday. There are three things that make me think today will be the most difficult to endure, however.
First, this period of denial was unplanned. I was not mentally prepared or girded for it to happen. It started on a whim, for stress relief…to give me something else to think about while on a chaotic vacation. It was not NW’s idea, but mine. It was not born out of forethought and analyzed want, but just kind of happened. I am always better at things covering a duration when I have a chance to plan and come to terms with it before I embark. I didn’t have any of that this time around.
Second, I return to my normal schedule today. That includes a rise in stress. Not necessarily bad stress, just the stress that work brings, at least to me. There is always the chance that something really serious could happen, and the “emergency” stress could kill my libido. In reality, though, the type of stress that normally accompanies work will only make me crave an orgasm even more. Orgasms are how I normally deal with, abate, this stress. I am programmed for it, after decades of practice. Yet, it won’t happen.
Lastly, the last time I reached orgasm was also the last day I went to work, before starting my vacation. I have masturbated one time since Thanksgiving. That one time was the morning of my last day of work. Here I am now, back on a work day, just as horny as I was then and just as wanting as I was then. This time, however, I have to leave my want unsated.
It will be an interesting day. I am sure that NW will enjoy the show…and the fruits of my denial.