NW is still dealing with her sex prohibiting issue. So, I wasn’t able to give her any attention, last night. That is a bit frustrating. Of course, given the day that I had, I really wasn’t in the mood anyway. Stress was the word of the day…and the diet…and the emotion. It was a trying day that killed my libido and made me wish that I had a bottle of Valium.
So, when we got to last night, NW asked me if I wanted any attention. I did! But not to sate some sexual need. I wanted it to overshadow all of the stress I was feeling. In fact, earlier in the day, I had an interesting realization. I was at work, stressed as hell, and the thought crossed my mind that an orgasm sure would relieve a lot of this stress. I immediately knew that I did not need an orgasm So, NW would not want to give me one, even though she would if I presented it as a good thing. So, I pondered masturbating. After all, I am not caged.
This is when the odd thing happened. I visualized myself, cock in hand, stroking myself. It seemed alien! The idea of just pleasuring myself, not to mention bringing myself to orgasm, just seemed unusual and even…well…pointless, for lack of a better word. To me! I am the guy who, for decades, masturbated a hundred times a month, at least. I have pleasured myself many times the number of sexual encounters with others that I have had. Yet, here I was, thinking of masturbating, and it seemed an alien concept.
How? I can only assume that it has been because of the past two months. Since Thanksgiving (the fourth Thursday in November, for those not in the US), I have only pleasured myself one time. The was the day, just before Christmas (the last time I had an orgasm, matter of fact), when we were about to hit the road, for a very long drive, and I wanted an orgasm but knew that NW hadn’t the time. Other than that one instance, all of my sexual pleasure has come via NW’s attentions.
The whole idea is kind of scary and, yet, kind of cool. Not that masturbating wouldn’t feel good. It just doesn’t seem to be on the menu.
Anyway, back to last night. NW stroked me, sucked me and played with my balls. She worked me for a good little while. She edged me three or four times. The edging didn’t really help to relieve the stress of the day. It did, though, help get my mind off of it and help relieve the sexual stress that being played with caused. In the end, though, the wonderful feelings of being stroked and sucked helped to unwind me. In fact, if NW does it lightly and slowly enough, I can go to sleep that way.
Sexual stimulation, even devoid of orgasm, used to alleviate stress. What a wonderful tool.
Thirty-six days and counting…