NW and I started our little fun time early, on Monday. By Tuesday morning, we had to revamp most of it.
Given the type of atmosphere that NW wanted for this, the force, the pain, the objectification, I had two major concerns. The first concern was that NW would slip into subspace and not come out. I know that is a bit irrational of me, but it seems to me to be a type of shock that the recipient goes into. What if it went too far? What is she required medical attention? At least here, her having given me permission, and even wanted, to be caned until she was welted, marked and out of it, is irrelevant. It would be considered a crime.
My second concern was that the violence would throw her back, psychologically, to her previous marriage, which was both physically and mentally abusive. My second fear began to rear its head, by Tuesday morning, and we had to scale things back…way back.
You see, I had certain rules and expectations, which were necessary to maintain her sense of submission and for proper objectification. When these dictates were not met, or adhered to, there were consequences. She feared the consequences, as she should have. That fear, though, changed to dread and was very much like her previous life. The trigger had been pulled. But not before her ass wore the bruises and welts from Monday night’s caning.
So, we decided to confine this play to our evening playtime. Her desires were still in place. They just needed to be confined into a secure area of space and time. But, even that didn’t happen, last night. We learned something very important. NW cannot be denied! You can tease her mercilessly, as long as an orgasm, or sixty, is had. If you edge her, though, then don’t allow her to orgasm, all sexual desire dies in less than an hour from ending play. Not just the want of orgasm, but all libido. Lucky so-and-so. No denial for NW. Just t&d, with a glorious orgasm as the capstone.
With both woke, this morning, with raging libidos. We rolled around, groped one another, much like animals. I bit her, choked her, clawed her, fingered her and brought her orgasm after orgasm. She stroked me, sucked me, squeezed and slapped my balls and, yes, teased and denied me. Today will be an interesting day.
For those keeping score, I did not orgasm. We are on day twenty-two, since my last full orgasm. And, right now, I want to cum…bad. It is not overwhelming. I do not need to be caged in order to prevent me from doing it myself. But, my want of orgasm is higher than my want of denial. In less than ten days, we will hit a month of denial, for the first time. I very much want to hit that mark, but, for now, not as much as I want to cum.
I told NW that I wanted to orgasm. I asked her if we could. She said, “no”. She wants me as horny as I am. She is not willing to risk the drop in libido. Very, wonderfully, selfish of her. I knew what her answer would be. Since this is the first time that my want of orgasm has exceeded my want of denial, though, I decided to go ahead and ask. Why? So that I could get used to hearing her say, “no”, when I knew that I could handle it. So that she could experience saying, “no”, a) when the request was real and b) so that she could get comfortable with it. So, she is selfish and I am manipulative. But let’s be honest, it is far better for us to be comfortable with her refusing to allow me to orgasm, and make it normal, than to try to accept it, cold turkey, when I am about to explode.
In any case, if her libido holds, as mine surely will, then I am going to work on her fantasies tonight. If not, then we will just do what we do.