Cruising Along

Things are kind of quiet right now.  I am still refraining from pleasuring myself, which is becoming more difficult, thanks to the new extended edging play.  NW gave me an orgasm Sunday night.  She didn’t want me starting the work week too frustrated.  I was very much in concurrence with this.

Last night, things were rather hectic and we decided to postpone any play.  By the time I hit the bed, I decided that I would take the time to give her a few orgasms.  It isn’t like it takes a huge investment of time and energy.  In fact, it is one of those wonderful things in life where you reap so much more than you sow.

After her orgasms, she started stroking me.  She wanted me to have another orgasm.  I, of course, was reluctant, as I like at least a little buildup.  Fatigue took care of it for me.  She fell asleep while stroking me.  I roused her to get her into sleeping position and she started back up.  I asked her to wait, if she would, since she was too tired to do it properly.  She agreed.  Off to sleep we went…me, with a raging erection.

This newly embarked upon effort to take me to the edge and hold me there, or as close as possible, for an extended duration, has been intense.  My cock swells as it does when I actually orgasm.  It is mildly uncomfortable.  And it stays that way!  Her stroking/squeezing becomes so light that it would seem almost nonexistent to the outside observer.  It is maddeningly delicious, though…if not frustrating as hell.

Another thing that she does, besides maintain her grip and move in slow, short strokes, is to release her grip and very lightly move her hand up and down my cock.  It is light enough that the skin does not move with her, but she maintain lights, somewhat inconsistent contact.  This is just as good and, in some ways, a better method.  It is stimulating, causing my cock to twitch, giving just enough stimulation.  It is not enough, however, to send me over the edge, assuming it is kept at a reasonable pace and the contact not too firm.

This keeps me bouncing right at the edge, but not going over.  My hips are not able to relax and an ache forms in them and my lower back.  Not to mention my aching cock, swollen in anticipation the release that never arrives.

On a side note.  NW’s Dr. visit is now past.  I foresee the throttling that she has been longing for just around the corner.

Finally…Some Maddening Teasing

The denial continues.  It hasn’t been too long, mind you.  In fact, it has all been rather smooth.  Yesterday marked two months since NW and I started back down this path.  It also saw the one hundred and ninetieth missed orgasm, since this started.  There was something else, though.

NW and I have started working on her being able to take me to the edge and keep me there.  I am not referring to the absolute edge, as I am not sure that I can be held there, without going over.  I am talking about the point where the pressure/rise of the impending orgasm is just about to start to rear its head…or maybe where it just has.  We are toying with grip, degree of pressure, stroke pace, stroke length, etc…  Last night, she found a pretty good zone.  She was able to hold me there for over a minute.  It was less than two minutes, but not by far.

My lower back started to ache from the constant tension caused by the muscles preparing to lock in orgasm.  My breathing was shallower and faster.  My entire being was focused on the feeling simmering in my cock.  It was wonderful!  So, so close and yet no release was had.

This is teasing at its best.  By the time we reached a point where she could no longer touch me, let alone tease me, without sending me over the edge, I was more frustrated than I have been at any point in these two months.  Good and bad frustration.  I went into the session wanting to orgasm.  By this point, I needed it.

But, alas, I was denied.  For all of the wondrous sensations that this level of teasing had provided, and it was truly wonderful, I was actually agitated by it.  I needed to cum.  I wanted to cum.  Not actually doing so, however, kind of pissed me off.  Of course, as stated, that wasn’t all that I felt…and it passed quickly.  Was it worth it?  Oh yes.  To feel myself so close to that edge, for so long.  To feel how sensitive I had become.  That, at the end, a mere touch would have sent me careening over the edge.  It was worth every ounce of frustration and agitation.  Because, for all of the t&d and edging that we have done, over the past two months, nothing compared to being taken there and held oh so close.

I can’t wait until we do it again.

Checking in…

It has been a rather quiet few days.  Last night was the first night that NW intentionally denied me.  Yes, we finally found some time, and energy, to play a bit.  Tonight we resumed.  Unfortunately, in her enthusiasm, NW carried it a tad too far and sent me over the edge.  It was ruined, of course.  It was still unwanted, and a let down, though.

Once more, just before bed, we played a little more.  This time we were more careful and made sure that no accidents occurred.  I am not sure what her plan is, as far as how long to deny me.  For that matter, I am not sure if she knows.  She tends to play it by ear.

I do know that she is in dire want/need of some rough sex and s&m.  We are still on hold until after the Dr. visit, though.  I guess this is her denial.  It will be here soon enough, though.  By mid-week, we will be in the clear and pain is in the forecast.  We are both looking forward to it.

This, That and Unplanned Denial

It is interesting how things can run at a thousand miles per hour and then abruptly stop.  Sometimes those stops are planned.  Sometimes they aren’t.  And, now, I see that even starts can occur, unplanned.

A few notes, first… 

The blog passed 10,000 views, a few days ago.  A mere pittance, to some, but a huge milestone for me.  Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read and, hopefully, enjoy.

Today marks day forty-eight since I last masturbated or pleasured myself.  It has been on my mind, lately, but I have not had an irresistible urge to partake.  I am not sure why, aside from wanting to give that pleasure to NW.  Whatever the reason, we are rapidly approaching two months.

This brings us to denial in general.  I have had orgasms on nine of the seventeen days of August.  That would seem like a lot.  I am still forty-two orgasms down from my normal rate, though.  That puts my total denied orgasms, from starting this in mid June, at one hundred and eighty.  We will likely hit the two hundred mark before the month is out.  Oddly enough, I have not yet panicked.

Now, back to what I was alluding to at the beginning of the post.  Today will be the third day since my last orgasm.  We never decided to start back up.  It just kind of happened.  Last night, NW wasn’t feeling well.  The night before, there was too much going on.  Life dictated that we start back up, even if only for a few days.  Will I get to have an orgasm tonight?  I have no clue.  As NW likes me wound up a bit for the weekends, though, I am guessing not.  Of course, that doesn’t preclude not feeling well, or life, thwarting us even if we do have plans.

In the past, this was easily remedied by my wanking it…a lot.  Since I have told NW that I won’t, even though she says I can, I haven’t.  Then again, I haven’t had an overwhelming urge to do so.

So, that is where we are.  NW has been craving some stern attention from me, but she has a Dr. appointment next week and we don’t want to scare anyone.  We are playing it by ear.

Sex and Life or Sex is Life?

Now that NW have been tooling along in a non-denial phase, which will likely end in the next day or so, I have had a chance to reflect over the three and a half weeks of denial.  Looking back, I see that we crossed over into that area that always makes me feel uneasy, when I realize that it is happening, or has happened.

You see, sex is a wonderful thing.  It is intense, pleasurable and, well, orgasmic.  Likewise, it is personal, intimate and bonding.  It is also all-encompassing, though, if not kept in check.  That is what started to happen during that three and a half weeks.

I am not saying that everyone reacts like this.  And I realize that some people’s lives and personalities are such that a very sex-centric life is not as big of a deal.  For me/us, though, it is very powerful and can be a big negative, that isn’t necessarily, immediately evident.

During the latter part of the denial, if we weren’t engaged in sex, we were talking about it or plotting how we might steal more time for it.  Every time I got within arms reach of NW, she was groping me.  I would fondle her breasts, ass and tease her pussy, if not just get her off.  It was incessant.

When there are full-time jobs to tend to and kids that need attention, though, it is best to keep these things somewhat restricted, lest you start to neglect the most important things in life.  It can be not too dissimilar to being addicted to a drug.  It will consume your time and energy, if you allow it to.

I won’t say that our period of play led to anything bad, but we, most definitely, could have been better at taming our actions and devoting a bit more voluntary time to our little ones.  Not that they noticed.  And I, most definitely, could have performed better at work, if not always insane with want and constantly communicating such with NW.

Live and learn.  Try not to repeat.  There will come a time when NW and I do not carry the obligations that we do now.  Maybe then it will be more acceptable, to me.  For now, though, we are going to try to tame it a bit.  Sure, there will be denial, teasing and arousal.  But we are going to try to avoid the all-consuming want and lust that we recently experienced.

Orgasm Denial and Testosterone Levels/Prostate Health

I have, as I am sure you have as well, seen/read many articles and blog posts concerning orgasm denial/chastity and its effects on prostate health and testosterone levels.  Both of these are rather important subjects to me.  As someone who is under the care of an endocrinologist, the impact of one hormone on another, including my testosterone levels and, by extension, DHT and estradiol levels, is extremely significant to me.  This treatment puts me at a higher risk for prostate issues.  Not only this, but I am a strength sport hobbyist.  Maintaining a strong testosterone level is a must, if I want to continue that pursuit.

The problem is, with all the information being tossed about, how do you know which one is correct?  And even if they are correct, is it correct for me?  Am I one of the exceptions to the rule?

I have spent hours and hours searching the web for relevant information.  Unfortunately, there is not a breadth of research into these areas.  To make it more difficult, any source that has an agenda must, necessarily, be discarded.  Again, unfortunately, agendas usually trump truth.

I have read that being denied/chaste will result in elevated testosterone levels.  Not only that, but that these levels are maintained!  But I have only seen this on sites revolving around kink (chastity/OD).  On just as many of these sites, if not more, I have read their espousals of the dampening effect that chastity/OD has on testosterone levels.  They drum on about how, in time, his testosterone levels will drop and he will become less combative, more compliant and such a good little boy.

My own experiences would seem to point, potentially, to both.  I do become more “compliant”, when denial has gone on for a period…though not “sub” compliant.  Just less aggressive and assertive.  This would seem to indicate that my testosterone levels are, indeed, lower.

That being said, my performance in the weight room improved, at least initially…about a week in.  That would make sense, though, given the only real study that kept being referred to during my internet searches.  This link is from a body building website.  It refers to the study I am referencing.  Since these guys are obsessed with testosterone levels, they are more likely to concern themselves with the truth of the matter.  Do note, the study only included 28 men.  So it is far from scientific in scope.

It pretty much sums up what I experienced.  I felt normal for about a week, give or take a day.  My athletic performance was the highest about a week in.  After that, my performance fell back to normal, or maybe even a bit lower.  That would coincide with their finding…normal testosterone levels for about a week, followed by a brief spike, then a drop.  That drop coincided with the drop in athletic performance, but, also, a drop in aggression and assertiveness, in general.

Of course, I am sure there are studies that contradict this, but I have not run across them.  Not to mention, everyone is different, to some degree.  Since I am interested in my levels staying high, though, until more conclusive research comes out, I will err on the side of caution.

The other side of this, for me, is prostate health, especially in my higher risk category.  It used to be believed that frequent ejaculation led to an increase in the risk of prostate cancer.  A study, involving 30,000 men, however, seems to have debunked that.

Another, with a far smaller sampling…

What does that mean to you?  Obviously, you have to decide.  For me, though, it is easy.  I am at a higher risk, so I want to take the safer route.  My questions are unanswered, though.  Do ruined orgasms count?  If not on the whole, what about a two to one ratio?  Three to one?  Ten to one?  Also, since I am not able to be properly milked, apparently, does the constant flow of precum count as anything?  If I leak two teaspoons (the average amount of an ejaculation) is that as good as an orgasm?  Does there actually need to be an orgasm, fully contracting?

I doubt these will be answered by the medical community anytime soon.

Also, for those interested in prostate health…

All Quiet in the Heartland

Shhh…  Be very quiet.  The kink is asleep.

We have yet to restart the orgasm denial, though the control is still in place.  I have had, at least, one orgasm every day, since…hmmm…Friday, I think.  I have had two, on a couple of those days.  So, nothing to report there.

NW has a Dr. appointment coming up.  So, we are lying low on anything S&M-y.  Don’t want to risk setting anything in motion that we can’t stop.  People here can be rather prudish.

Work is…well, work.  It takes a lot of time and energy, as do the kids.  Many of you are very familiar with this.  I am about ready to restart the denial, though.  I hope that NW and I will be on the same page with this.

Besides that, not much to say.  As it is August eleventh, it has been forty-two days since I last masturbated or pleasured myself.  The strange thing is, I don’t really miss it.  Sure, I crave a good wank, now and then.  I don’t seem to be suffering from its absence, however. 

Also, I am now at one hundred and sixty-one missed orgasms, since we started this.  That is a hell of a lot.  But, again, I seem to be doing okay with it.  So, we are pretty much on cruise control, until who knows when.  This weekend might pick back up some, though.  They usually do.