What the Cock Cage Means to Us

Sexyblue posted a comment on the “Problems with the Crossfire Base Ring” post.  Here is the pertinent part:

“Also… Maybe I’ve misunderstood how you do things, but why would you even WANT to be able to get fully erect inside your chastity device? If you can get fully erect, then you would also be able to cum. And isn’t that what the device is designed to prevent?”

Having read this, it seems to me that we are approaching cock caging from different angles, while acknowledging that this might only be my perception.  So, I thought I might better explain how NW and I see this.

I think that male chastity and orgasm denial are most often deemed a form, or part, of D/s.  And, despite NW’s insistence that it is not, I believe that there is a degree of truth to this, even for us.  She says that there isn’t, because neither of us view her control as domination, nor my being controlled as submission.  While I agree with her, that neither of us consciously view it as such, the resemblance is obvious.  And, despite what you may think, our failure to call it thus is not because we have an aversion to labelling it as such.  We just don’t view it that way.  In our eyes it is kink, in general, and a way to charge our passion.

My answer to the first question is…I don’t want to be able to get fully erect, when caged.  And even with the 52mm ring, I won’t be able to.  The tube is about one-quarter of an inch too narrow to allow me to become fully erect.  Not to mention, the downward flow of the tube would prevent a full and normal erection.  When erect, I am stiff as a rod and in no way pliable.

To the second question I would say “yes”, but add that it is also intended to prevent stimulation in general.  To deny access, not just orgasm.  I think that she means that as well, but was more concerned with the full erection allowing orgasm aspect.  I do think it important that the denial of stimulation aspect be mentioned though.  This morning, NW decide to tease me before I went to work.  I had to warm her off, because I was about to blast off, when I was only half erect.  So, while full erection would definitely make it easier to orgasm, it is in no way necessary.

With NW and I, the caging is not a means for constant denial of stimulation.  It is not a tool to break me down or tame my cock.  It is not a sign of my submission or a means to achieve, or reinforce, it.  It is a bolt-on.  When we decided that I would no longer masturbate and that she would have control of my orgasms, it was approached from a kink angle, not a D/s angle.

I was not, and am not, a “submissive” in this.  I have willingly gone into it and we have mutually agreed to every aspect.  Am I submitting to her will/decision?  Yes.  It is not the same, however, even if only in feel.  That is why we both prefer to call it power exchange.

For us, the cage provides a few things.  It carries a naughty factor, when I wear it out and about and around other people.  Mainly because it is edgy and taboo-ish.  It feeds my mild exhibitionism fetish…mentally, not physically.  I like people knowing that I am caged and NW holds the key.  That ties in to the naughty.  The lack of stimulation that it provides drives up my arousal/want and makes me even more sensitive, when I am out of it.  It emphasizes the control that I have given to NW.  Lastly, it is a safeguard, that I, indeed, will not pleasure myself…even though that has not been an issue.  It could be.  You never know.

To us, it is a sex toy to feed/facilitate a kink, not a tool to enforce/enable a lifestyle.  Should the control become permanent, which is my hope, I guess it can then be called a lifestyle.  Even then, though, the cage will play a minor role.   Because, if I have to be in a cage to get there, then we haven’t really achieved our goal.

2 responses to “What the Cock Cage Means to Us

  1. Thank you for these added explanations. You are correct in your assumption that we approach this from different angles. I find that very interesting, actually. Before I started reading chastity blogs, I didn’t even know that these different angles existed.

    For us, it’s definitely about submission and dominance. The device is a very clear and solid reminder that his dick just doesn’t belong to him anymore, at least not fully. It’s mine, to do with as I please. He may touch himself, clean himself and even try to pleasure himself if he wants. But I know (and he knows) that he is unable to come as long as he’s wearing that device. (We know, because we tried it. 🙂 ). So yeah, for us it’s about ownership, control and D/s, more than it’s about sex or sexual pleasure.

    • I would think, based on the blogs and articles that I have read, that “for us it’s about ownership, control and D/s” is the more prevalent employment of chastity devices. It is perfect for that. Also, I must admit, that we are not completely away from that. Last night put our dynamic on full display…her denying/controlling my orgasms, while I, otherwise, fully dominate her. But I was in a head space, due to my want and arousal. In that situation, the cage would have emphasized her control, but it was not on, as we were in bed to sleep.

      Since we both want this control to be hers and be very real, even permanent, it is often better without the cage, though. Without the cage, I have to consciously decide to not pleasure myself, to warn her before I go over the edge, to struggle to keep that control hers.

      Right now, though, as I type this, I really wish I was in the cage. I want, desperately, to orgasm, even by my own hand, if necessary. I won’t, of course, but the cage would take the pressure off of me. If I couldn’t, then I wouldn’t have to expend so much energy to not do it.

      That said, in my untenable fantasies, it is employed exactly as you suggest.

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