Robert Anthony left a comment on my “Shock and Awe – Part 2” post. I found it to be very honest and, quite frankly, probably a sentiment that is shared by many. Understanding why some might feel this way, I thought a little background might be found interesting, to put things in context. Here is the comment:
“You guys sure do have one hell of an active sex life! Quite incredible really, and to be honest if I hadn’t spoken to you privately I would probably think you were full of shit. I hope you appreciate what you have Good Hubby, there’s plenty out there who would kill for a quarter of what you have!”
NW and I have been together for just shy of a dozen years. In that time, just like with every couple, we have had our ups and our downs. Although, admittedly, the downs have been few and not especially deep. And, as with every other aspect of our life, our sex life has not been immune.
When NW and I got together, we had an active sex life, as one would imagine. We were a new couple. Neither of us had any hang-ups about sex. We were both younger and had more energy. The new wore off quickly, though. We didn’t stop having sex, mind you, but it was greatly diminished. In fact, we didn’t even have sex the first night of our honeymoon.
Individually, we brought different things to the table. I was a late bloomer and didn’t have sex until I was twenty-four. NW, on the other hand, started having sex at a much early age. I have had less than ten sexual partners…and not all of them involved intercourse. I won’t say exactly how many NW has had, partially because we don’t know, exactly, but suffice it to say that it is many-fold more than I. Her sex drive has always been high, barring those hormonal downswings. Not to mention, the vast majority of the time, even if she is not actively in the mood, say the right thing, touch the right area, and she is primed for action. And even though I have masturbated far more than her (about six trillion times), much of that has been out of stress or habit.
Sadly enough, all of this was not healthy. There were times that she identified her worth through sex. I can tell you, though, that while the sex is great, it is neither the reason I married her, nor what makes her the perfect match for me. She is an incredible person. She just needed to see it for herself.
During the years that followed, the intensity of our sex life waxed and waned. Many, many factors played into this. We both gained and lost weight. We both made the transition from hot, new lust to “old married couple”. That was a bumpy ride, sexually. There were multiple pregnancies, with associated hormonal changes. New homes, new jobs, layoffs, deaths in the family, turmoil/loss with extended family…in essence, life.
Through it all, there were months of intense sexual activity, like this one. There have also been great lengths where there was almost no sex. Well, except for my masturbating.
As I stated in my reply to Robert Anthony’s comment, there was, at one point, a year that was virtually sexless. It revolved around one of the pregnancies. For a year period, extending from before the birth to well after it, we had sex less than five times. We averaged once every three to four months. I guess hormones can be a blessing and a curse.
There have been other dry spells, but that one was the longest and most severe. Likewise, the periods of greatest sexual activity have been mind-blowing. Three years ago, when we first experimented with male chastity and BDSM, it was much like now. In some ways, it was even more intense.
Heck, even in the months that led up to this play, we had sex three or four times a week. Sometimes only one or two. Sometimes every day of the week. So we were on a pretty good diet of sex, even before. That is likely what gave rise to the renewed interest in kink. Once started, though, it exploded.
All of that being said, this past weekend was rather anomalous. We do have weekends/holidays where the fever is high and we go at it like rabbits, but that is not the norm. Of course, my being denied is not the norm as well. The heightened arousal that comes from it is, no doubt, feeding the frenzy. It is the work week, though. We will be back to evenings only, with the occasional afternoon thrown in. And that is all well and good.
And in the end, we will still wax and wane. For now, though, things are full on.