Free Range or Caged Orgasm Denial?

Because of the issues I have with my CB, I don’t stay in it continually.  In fact, it has become too uncomfortable to wear to work.  I can only wear it at length on the weekends, when I can go commando and wear really loose pants.  Please, please, please let the Steelworxx correct this!

This being the case, though, it has led to me ponder why I even want to be caged.  I mean, there are folks who go the chastity/orgasm denial route and never use a cage.  Right now, except for weekends, I have a “free range” cock.  I have not masturbated, even while free.  I have not masturbated, even though NW has given me the go ahead to do so…Monday through Thursday, and only in the mornings, as a form of stress relief.  I like denying myself for her.  So that she is my only source of release.  Since she trusts me, and I do not betray that trust, there is really no reason to use it as a form of enforcement.  So why?

For me, there are multiple reasons.  The first, and perhaps most selfish, is that it takes the burden off of me.  This morning was a prime example.  For the most part, even though aroused, I have not had a strong urge to masturbate to orgasm.  I have wanted to, but not in any manner where I really considered it.  This morning, I really wanted to.  NW had given permission.  But, again, I didn’t…for her.  It took an effort not to do so.  Once I am caged, though, that won’t be an issue.  I can want all I want, but there will be no method to achieve it.  So, I simply have to accept, not struggle against myself.

The second reason would be the loss/lack of control.  Yes, all exercised control ultimately comes from the one being controlled.  That cannot be avoided.  Once that control is given, however, and is enforced via guidelines that are discussed and agreed upon, it is, for all applicable purposes, real.  Not having control over my own cock, is psychologically thrilling, whether denied pleasure for a month or just an hour.

I do make a distinction here.  It is just the way my mind works.  I like labels.  As a rule, I refer to my male sexual organ as a “penis”, if I am referring to non-sexual things…like urinating.  I urinate with my penis.  Or, while building a bookshelf, in my birthday suit, I accidentally hit my penis with the hammer“Cock” is the term I use for the sexual side of things.  NW likes to have my cock in her mouth.  I stroke my cock when I masturbate.

That being said, being in a cage means that what was my cock is now her cock.  Though the penis is still mine.  I, honestly, don’t like the sound of that.  Since it is the truth, though, (I can’t use my penis in a sexual manner, except by her bidding) it is what it is.

The third reason is the naughty factor.  When we first started talking about this, just over three years ago, every time it was mentioned I would get hard, immediately.  The thought of caging my cock, and not having access to it, seemed insane, naughty, not quite real or rational.  And it wound me up to no end.  This differs from number two in that it is not the experience itself that feeds this, but doing something so “out there” and “edgy”.

Anymore, that is not the case.  Locking away my cock and giving it, and the key, to NW is pretty much vanilla.  We do it without thought.  There is an element of it, however, that is being rekindled by the imminent arrival of the Steelworxx.  The reason?  Because this cage is real.  It is stainless steel.  Should I so choose, I could snap the CB in two with little effort.  Once I am in the Steelworxx, however, I am there until unlocked…period.

The fourth reason is kind of an extension of the third, plus a form of exhibitionism.  I get a thrill from folks knowing that I am caged.  While I might not be on visual display (except in pictures on here), the fact that someone would know that my cock is locked in a cage, where I can’t access it, and NW has full control, is hot as hell!  Sharing anything sexual is a bit arousing.  But revealing something that the vast majority of people would find anywhere from incredibly kinky, to damn near insane, to unfathomable, is tantalizing as all get out.

Mind you, I, like almost everyone who does this, cannot simply throw it out to the world.  I live in Oklahoma.  Such a revelation would be bad on so many levels.  So I have to be careful who knows what.  But, the thrill of sharing is worth the effort.

Lastly, there is NW.  My semi-masochistic, somewhat submissive, sweetheart of a wife.  She has so much trouble being sexually assertive, which is actually a good thing, given my personality.  But she loves the cage.  She loves seeing me in it.  She loves knowing that I can’t pleasure myself, especially as she indulges in her freedom and pleasures herself.  She loves knowing that I can’t give myself release and, hence, am reliant upon her.  She loves my frustration, mid the denial.  And in the midst of it, she finds a voice, and a bit a assertiveness.  It is not domme-like, which is, again, a good thing.  It is focused, guiding, exploring, confident and uninhibited.  When she hits this point, I can let go, and yield.  And she loves it.

She gives me pleasure by denying me pleasure and takes hers from the whole of it.

2 responses to “Free Range or Caged Orgasm Denial?

  1. This whole issue of cage use is a difficult one. I can’t get on with mine at all, and have pretty much given up on the idea, especially as Mistress R doesn’t particularly like it, and so I am back to being good. That’s not too bad at the moment, but I’m only on day four, last time I came was day 28. I don’t have a problem not cumming, because like you I want to do it for her, but touching is a lot tougher… I am trying though.

    • Thank you for the comment!
      NW has her issues with the cage as well. Her love affair with my parts makes her want constant access. The flipside being that she really likes the look and idea of me being caged. Right now, though, it just isn’t possible, other than weekends.
      And while the we both find the cageless denial to be highly erotic, we both want the cage to work. “Can’t” and “won’t” are different enough to make it worth the effort, even if “can’t” costs more.
      And I agree, not touching is the hardest part. When worked up, being edged seems to provided a degree of satiation. Being edged takes away, even if temporarily, some of the overall frustration. I have to mind myself, though, or I will stop too late.

      BTW – Great blog. I spent a bit of time, yesterday, avoiding work and reading through it.

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