Is NW becoming dominant? Am I becoming a sub? Well…kind of, no and maybe.
Last night was kind of interesting. I had been in the cage all day, except for the workout and swimming with the kids. (They climb on me too much to realistically conceal the device.) When we got to bed, NW had the key out. So I laid down and she removed the cage. Then she wiped me off (remnants of lube) and took me in her mouth. Man was it warm and slippery! And I was getting into it, as I knew that she intended for me to have an orgasm. I, myself, was torn on the idea (there are physical/medical reasons why we don’t go too long…but that is another post), but deferred to her, like a good boy.
What made it so interesting, in retrospect, though, was the way things played out. When we have sex, as a rule, I pleasure NW first. She might stroke me a bit, or take me in her mouth, but the real pleasure is from me to her. This has always been the case, unless I was the only one getting pleasured at that time. The main reasons for this are 1) Like most men, when I orgasm, I lose a lot of interest/enthusiasm. So better to please her first. 2) I really do love giving pleasure. It turns me on and winds me up.
Last night, as she began sucking me, I started to feel “off”. This isn’t how things go, especially of late, where I not only pleasure her first, but, even odds, I pleasure her and get none myself. So I started stroking her leg, as she was curled next to me, and her back. I began to work my hand towards her pussy and she just clamped her legs, paused from her sucking, nonchalantly said “no” and went back to it.
What was strange about this is that I accepted that response and stopped. Normally, I take what I want. But, here, I yielded. I didn’t forget what I wanted, or put it to rest, but I did comply with her instructions. She continued to stroke and suck me and eventually told me that she wanted tonight to be just about me.
Now I was feeling really out of synch. All about me? That is not how this works! She wiggled her ass closer to me and I fondled her checks, kissed the one closest to me and decided that I really needed to taste her. I mean, if it is all about me, and I want this… Again, breaking the norm, instead of pulling her on to me, I told her that I really wanted to taste her and asked her, “Can I please taste you?” It was a sincere request, not just roleplaying. So very odd for us, but completely fluid and natural in the occurrence. She was kind enough to oblige and straddled my face. I devoured her.
Long story short, she took me careening over the edge. My left cheek cramped, from the force of my contractions. But the real story is still how easily and naturally we exchanged power. She was wielding control and I deferred to it. Not because I had to. Not because she was demanding it. (A sure way to bring out my dominant side.) But because it was the natural flow of things in the setting that had emerged. And it was wonderful.
For her part, NW has issues taking control. Outside of the bedroom, it isn’t happening, barring the mundane stuff of home and kids. Likewise, I don’t yield control very well. If there is a crisis, or it is something of magnitude, I want to be at the helm, which is exactly how she likes it. Last night, however, NW came in with a plan. She knew how she wanted things to play out and I think that gave her confidence and focus. To complement that, is the chastity play. Even though all control ultimately comes from the one being controlled, being given that control makes her more at ease to assert herself. Last night was evidence of that. Hopefully we can nuture this, as it is sometimes more fun to be the one on the receiving end.