What with my masturbation having been taken away, I have been giving some thought as to why I am so addicted. What is it that makes masturbation good and sometimes preferable to sexual interaction with NW?
Obviously, one aspect is sexual release. I mean, who doesn’t like an orgasm? Masturbation allows me to participate in fantasies that I otherwise would not. It may be because the fantasy involves an act, or situation, that I cannot, or will not, actually ever participate in. Maybe it is too extreme or would violate my views of my relationship with NW. The fantasy also allows me to enjoy other people, without actually departing monogamy. Not to mention, sometimes, no one knows exactly how to touch me better than me.
The downside is that too frequent stimulation can cause diminished stimulation. It becomes somewhat boring and less pleasurable. It can also curb ones libido, which can be an issue if you have a highly, sexually charged partner, as I do. But sometimes, you just want an orgasm without all of the drama and effort (not that there is really that much).
There is another reason, though. And, for me, it may very well be the most important one. This has become apparent to me over the last nine days, that I have not masturbated. See, I have had little issue abstaining from masturbating as a means to sate a sexual hunger. Sure, there are times that I really want to just stroke it out. But I have come to realize that I use it more for stress relief than sexual pleasure. Even though, the sexual pleasure is a nice benefit. Wanting to be denied, and loving the feeling of being edged, makes it easier to abstain. But there is little else that can dissolve the stresses of life like blowing them out the end of my cock.
But why does masturbation alleviate the stress in a way that partnered sex doesn’t? I think it goes back to what I am combatting…stress. When interacting with another, you cannot “simply be”. You are paying attention to what they are doing, reading how they are reacting, trying to meet their needs, locked into what you are doing (I don’t fantasize about others, or other things, when playing with NW…even when flying solo, the “others” are just bodies, not specific people) and interacting. All of these carry a degree of responsibility and, hence, stress.
Is this bad? No. It simply is. I wouldn’t trade NW for anything…sexually or relationally. She is the perfect wife for me. It’s just that, sometimes, no one can relieve my stress like me.